Monday, September 19, 2005

Are you a sucker?

Are you a sucker? Can you tell an Internet scam?

It is usually unnecessary to investigate these suckertunities in more than a very cursory manner because the warning signs are loud and clear. If something is logically muddy, it is either a scam or an incredibly stupid business plan. Either of those possibilities bode badly for investment.

*The mantra of dumbasses is: "You don't UNDERSTAND". If I don't understand and no one else does either because the suckertunity cannot be understood by anyone except the marketing or financial genius who made it up, it's a scam.

* ~AGAIN!~ If no one (especially YOU) understands how it works, it's a scam.

* If it smells of fish either cook it or date it but don't buy into it. It's either a scam or a slot machine with an empty ring finger.

*The more hype attached to it the more likely it is a scam.

* If there are 'sizzle' calls it's a scam.

* If it has a 'product' but the product is not the main focus of the business, as with Custom Sucker Homes, it is definitely a scam.

* If the 'product' is based on scientific theories or physical laws which do not apply in our universe it is a scam.

*Anything which guarantees a return over ten percent a YEAR or uses the term 'ROI' is a scam.

* If it is 'offered' to a list of proven suckers, like P$, it is a scam.

* If it has a 'prelaunch' which purpose is to collect money it is a scam.

* If the advertised launch date comes and goes with no launch it is a scam.

* If the preferred payment processor is cash in a manila envelope it's a scam.

* If it doesn't have the legal status it requires to do what it says it is going to do where is says it is going to do it, it's a scam.

* If the owner is caught in a lie or a string of them or has been involved in other shady deals it is a scam.

* If someone sells you a $255 ounce of silver because there has to be a token product but in reality you are paying for something else, it's a scam.

* If someone says they have a Ponzi which is 'legal' because of a bunch of incomprehensible babbling bullshit, it is a scam.

* If someone says they have "the next big one", it is a scam.

* ANYTHING registered 'offshore' is a scam. Anything referring to money in it's name is a scam.

* Anything based on faith, trust, divine intervention or belief in the owner or a television evangelist instead of common sense is a scam.

For instance, you CANNOT buy a 'right to receive' money for pennies on the dollar. Only a complete fool would fall for something as stupid as that.

AND FINALLY, ~ATTENTION PIPS DUMBASSES~: IF THE FEDERAL, STATE OR NATIONAL AUTHORITIES HAVE RAIDED THE PLACE AND CONFISCATED EVERYTHING YOU CAN BET YOUR SWEET BIPPY IT'S A SCAM!

Some people, maybe most of them KNOW it is a scam and join for the excitement, like being addicted to gambling. They KNOW it is a Ponzi and they KNOW it will fail eventually. That it cannot be even remotely legal does not play into their reason for joining. They merely want to get in early enough to make some fast money and bail out leaving the rest of the dumbasses to foot the bill. But that same propensity for dishonesty hallmarks another character flaw. Greed. You gotta know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em. Even people who are initially in only for some fast cash can't stop if they happen to get lucky. Like Dan Vail and fffloyd.

Q & A

Q: Can I earn millions of dollars on the Internet by sending money to someone I never heard of who has a secret way of making money?

A: No. The 'secret' way of making money is to get suckers to send it to him. That's why it's a secret.

Q: I'm at the top of a new matrix program. I got in early as soon as I heard about it! Why don't you think I will get rich?

A: You aren't at the top. By the time someone says 'get in early' the top is full and they are fishing for suckers. In addition it is illegal and when it folds everyone YOU talked into joining will be able to sue your dumb ass off. That moron who posted all the pictures of himself at PIPS Hawaii is liable to be in deep kim-chee about now.

Q: I have a friend who....

A: No you don't. The 'friend' is either getting a fee for sucking you into the scam or is trying to get out of it himself without losing money, or both. Either way you are being knifed in the back.

Q: I just paid $255 for an ounce of silver and something else. Do you know what I bought?

A: Yep. Here's your sign.

Q: I sent my family's life savings to Bryan Marsden and am praying for GOD to change the physicals laws of the universe for me so this will all be a bad dream and I can get rich after all. Will GOD answer?

A: He already has. if GOD loved you, he would have given you a brain. Even the scarecrow got a diploma from the Wizard of Oz. Enjoy a life of poverty, dumbass. Suicide is your only way out.

Q: Why should I believe you instead of someone who is promising to make me rich?

A: Because I am not asking you for money. I have no vested interest in what you do but I have an interest in moral and ethical conduct. I won't promise to make you rich but I WILL promise that a scammer won't make you rich either.

Q: I have been 'taken' before but isn't success just a matter of finding the right opp and maintaining a positive attitude?

A: No. It's a matter of becoming functionally literate, finishing college and getting a good job that you like with health and retirement benefits. Then you can think about exploring other possibilities. Do you ever read Dilbert? Scott Adams did exactly that.

Q: I like dreaming about being rich so I keep joining opps. Is that really so wrong?

A: No. Don't stop smoking either and don't look both ways before crossing the street. Eat three meals a day at McDonalds and never exercise. When your cell phone gets so hot it burns your ear, switch to the other ear. You can't trust bottled water so drink a lot of sugary, carbonated drinks and several vente white chocolate mochas from Starbucks every day. Fruits and vegetables are for sissies. You can get all of the vitamins and minerals you need from chocolate, beer and aerosol cheeze spread.

Q: Isn't Social Security a pyramid scheme?

A: Yes, but with three important differences from a Ponzi. (1) No recruiting is involved. Everyone is 'in' by law. (2) You are allowed only a certain amount of money each month, barely enough for food. (3) You are only allowed to collect it after you are already legally dead according to the actuarial tables. (4) I don't care because it won't go belly up before I get mine. :-)

Q: Why are you so negative?

A: Shut up, bitch.

Q: Why can't the government protect me from scams?

A: The government is busy protecting ungrateful bastards like you from Saddam's Weapons of Mass Destruction by invading Iraq. And now that we are firmly in control of the largest producer of oil in the region, we are reaping the benefits by being able to pay $4 for a gallon of gas instead of the $1 it used to cost.

And there is the Louisiana experiment which cost the President two days of his valuable vacation time. HOW DARE a city full of poor black people drown with so little thought to the President's vacation! :-O

You are free to spend your money any way you want.....except to purchase things the government says you can't have....and if you lose it, it's your problem. But don't YOU EVEN THINK about going 7 miles over the speed limit!!!!!


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Non-Reciprocal Laws of Expectations: Negative expectations yield
negative results. Positive expectations yield negative results.